


Dissociation is a Thing

by Brooklantis



Category: Original Work, brooklantis
Genre: Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dissociation, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Trans Male Character, does it even matter lmao its my ocs, idk how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 07:14:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7565044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brooklantis/pseuds/Brooklantis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s always the quiet, hazy summer nights that are the worst. With nothing to do and not much to distract him, Rhys tends to fall back into feeling like he and his surroundings aren’t actually real, even if he knows his feelings are more irrational than anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dissociation is a Thing

It’s always the quiet, hazy summer nights that are the worst. With nothing to do and not much to distract him, Rhys tends to fall back into feeling like he and his surroundings aren’t actually real, even if he knows his feelings are more irrational than anything. He sits on his bed staring blankly at his wall with a tightness in his chest, whether it’s from his current emotional state, or his binder that he’s almost definitely been wearing too long, he can’t quite tell. 

He isn’t sure how much time has passed when he picks up his phone from the bedside table and unlocks the screen. He doesn’t bother looking at the time as he flicks through his contacts to the L's, and hits “dial” when he finds Lucas' number. It rings for a while, and a small part of him wonders how late it actually is, but his thoughts are interrupted when his boyfriend's slightly groggy voice answers.

“Hey, what's up?” Lucas asks with a sleep heavy voice.

“Ah sorry, did I wake you up? What time is it?” Rhys asks, feeling a little bad. Maybe it was later than he originally thought.

“No it’s okay, don’t worry about it. But I think it’s like one-something though. What’s going on?” As he woke up more he started sounding a little more concerned, wondering why Rhys was still awake and calling him this late.

“I don’t know, it’s just- … I don’t- really feel like I’m here, or if anything’s real… I guess? I just kind of wanted to talk, ‘cause I’m sure isolating myself here probably isn’t helping anything…” Trying to explain how he's feeling always seems so much harder in the moment, but regardless he knows well enough to try anything to not make it worse.

“Do you want me to come over?” Lucas asks. He knows this isn’t anything new; he’s known that Rhys has times where he’s like this, though he can usually talk himself out of it, but whenever he hasn’t been able to, Lucas has been there with him helping him through it, in the four years they’ve known each other at least.

“You really don’t have to, since it’s so late… but I mean, if you'd really be okay with it…” he says hesitantly.

“It’s okay, I’ll be there in ten minutes,” then adding, “and besides, I wouldn’t mind someone to cuddle with tonight anyway,” with a soft laugh, trying to lighten the mood

Rhys smiles a bit at that. “Thank you, see you soon.”

“See you soon.” He hangs up after, and Rhys already misses hearing his warm voice a little, but he knows he wouldn’t have to wait too long to hear it again.

By the time Rhys starts feeling already somewhat worse, his phone buzzes next to where he's sitting in bed. He doesn’t bother checking it, already knowing who it is. He musters up the motivation to stand up, and trudges as quietly as possible downstairs to the door, knowing that everyone else in the house is asleep already. He opens the door and lets Lucas in. He laces their fingers together and silently leads him to his room.

Nights like these were no stranger to them. Rhys would text or call Lucas, and they'd talk for a while, or Lucas would come over, depending on how Rhys was doing in the moment. Neither of their parents minded the fact, since they’ve been close for so long already and that they were practically adults anyway.

They reach Rhys' bedroom, and Lucas sits down on the bed as Rhys closes the door. He makes his way toward his boyfriend and curls up close to him. Lucas pulls him closer and gently kisses his temple.

“You okay?” he asks. The feeling of having somebody there and the warmth of his voice was already helping ground Rhys.

“Mm.” he says dismissively.

Lucas found Rhys' hand and loosely intertwines their fingers. “It’s okay, you're real; you're here,” he says as he lightly squeezes his hand. “Just like I’m real, and I’m here, and everything is as real as it gets.”

The more Lucas talks to Rhys; reassuring him, he sinks closer into him and he can slowly feel himself starting to feel more normal. They eventually settle into a comfortable silence, with Lucas holding Rhys and carding his fingers through his peach tinted hair. Rhys lifts his head to look up at Lucas. “I love you,” he says with soft sincerity.

“I love you too.” His face breaks into a small smile, recognizing the change in Rhys' state compared to their phone call earlier. He leans down slightly to rest his forehead on his boyfriend's, and as Rhys leans in close enough to feel the breath on each other’s lips he closes the distance between them.

They break apart after a short time, with Rhys leaning back down to rest on Lucas' shoulder, and Lucas places another kiss on top of his head.

Rhys yawns a little while later, asking “what time is it?”

Lucas yawns too, and pulls his phone from his pocket, turning the screen on. “'bout three-thirty. You tired?”

“Yeah”

“Let’s go to bed then,” he says, then pausing. “Wait; are you still in your binder?”

“Um… yeah…” he replies lamely

“How long have you even been wearing that thing?”

“I don’t know… too long probably.”

Lucas sighs, obviously concerned since he knows that Rhys shouldn’t be in his binder for nearly as long as he has. “Come on, let's get you changed out of it and I’ll give you my shirt to sleep in.”

“Mmkay,” he says, getting even sleepier. And now that he thinks about it, he is pretty uncomfortable in his binder.

Lucas removes his shirt as Rhys does with his, and waits for him to peel off his binder to hand him his own much larger shirt. He notices the angry pinkish-red marks on Rhys' bare skin left from the constricting fabric, and a part of him wonders how he can even put up with it every day. 

Rhys takes the shirt from Lucas, and his heart flutters slightly at the gesture. He slips the shirt over his body and already feels so much more comfortable than a few moments ago. He takes a breath, and is glad that the only thing there is nothing but a loose t-shirt and not something so compressing.

They both move up the bed, and Lucas lifts the covers over the both of them, and motions for him to come closer. Rhys sinks into the space Lucas made for him, and feels his arm come to rest around him. 

Rhys falls asleep easily, held by his heater of a boyfriend and surrounded by the scent of Lucas and the shirt he loaned him, both smelling like men’s body wash but also a hint of something sweet too. All of it helped ground him, and he felt real.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first actual piece of writing for my ocs?? and also pretty much my first piece of writing that ive actually posted anywhere so pls. Be Gentle


End file.
